Thoughts that cross my mind!
I am Prerana. Just Prerana for now!
I wanted to start writing since so long but today was the day that it had to start.
Everyday lots of things cross our minds. Our blood boils on many things. Our heart melts on many things. And what do we do about it? Be Silent! Or would debate or discuss over it.
I am not here to give any gyaan as I do nothing different. Yes, but one thing that I feel I do differently is, from every incidence I learn and I evolve as a human. I become more sensitive. I become less judgmental.
Life gives us difficulties to teach us something. Life shows us difficult times so that we can learn from it. I have always believed that we should learn from our as well as others mistakes.
In my posts I would be writing my mistakes and what I have learnt from them!
My mistakes and struggles make me a better person. Mistakes teach me new lessons, struggles make me more sensitive towards others.
Loss and fear go hand in hand. We fear something because we feel, if we lose it, it will cause us a lot of pain. Well, we do call it loss because we love that person/ thing. Or it wouldn’t have been a “loss” otherwise.
A small child for example. What was your biggest fear when you were a child? For me it was scoring less marks in exams. I feared I would lose my parents’ confidence because of that. Kids are not afraid of losing marks, they are afraid of losing their parents’ love, respect or confidence. This I understood when I grew up and didn’t have to give exams anymore 😀
What I fear till date is losing people. We lose people in two ways. Either their time on this planet is up or their time with us is over. In both scenarios, there is a lot of pain and sorrow. But that is the beauty of “loss”, you don’t feel you have lost something until and unless you absolutely and truly love it. We don’t mourn over random relationships or general people, we mourn over something/ someone we love. So fear is good, right? It tells you how much you care about something or someone that you fear losing it. It can be a person/ thing or even your emotion. Fear tells us to become aware of it and cherish it while you have it.
So, here is what we are going to do today.. Think about what we fear the most and then think of ways how we can cherish and live those things while we can. I fear losing people, so I will give my best to love and live my best with the ones whom I love.
Tell me what is that thing that you fear of losing and how you can make it do wonders for you!
What is “passion”?
Google says, “it is strong and barely controllable emotion.”
So I started wondering what my passion is! And I started comparing it with other’s. For example, my husband is a writer by passion. He loves writing, it makes him happy and he is very good in it too. So his writing fits completely in the definition of what passion is. Well, what do I love? I love reading, but that depends on mood. I love painting but I am not very good in it. Might be because I am not trained or it’s not something I would die for. Isn’t that what passion is supposed to be? Your “to die for” thing? Or so it is told that it should be otherwise it’s not considered “passion”.
I am a designer. But do I really like to play with Photoshop tools and make a picture look different than it actually is? Then what?? I felt so depressed after thinking so much about passion and it should be the other way round. Passion should make you happy not depressed!!
So after two days of thinking a zillion things in my mind I finally blurted it in front of my husband. I said, “Kishor, I don’t have any passion in life 😦 ” He replied in a fraction of millisecond, your definition of passion is wrong then. Of course you have passion, you are passionate about binding people together. ” I was awestruck. Everytime he says something like this, I know I have married the right person.
Yes, I am passionate about people. I love being with them, I love making them happy because it gives me a happiness of different level that no money can buy. And I thought, passion is not just a strong emotion, it is something that makes you happy and the happiness doesn’t need to hit the ceiling everytime you do something of your passion, sometimes it can be like a breeze of cool air and sometimes you can hit the ceiling.
With Kishor’s answer, I definitely hit the ceiling 🙂
A year back my child was not interested in kids or that is what I felt. But today he wants to be with them, play with them but just doesn’t know how to.
He has his own way. He’ll run behind them but doesn’t understand what to do when they stop. He wants to play ball with them but doesn’t know how to respond when they throw the ball for him to hit with the bat.. though we (Kishor and me) are working on those lines, we know it’ll take some more time. Till then I will have to see his heart breaking.
Though we are fortunate as we have friends who’s kids are warm and accepting towards Tanu but after a certain time they too don’t know how to go about it. At times I help both Tanu and other kids to take it forward and at times I leave as other kids want to play and have fun in their own way (I keep reminding myself they are kids too after all!)
I am fortunate that people in my building make an effort to talk with him even when he was not responding. A uncle who always used to say “hello friend” to him is now delighted every time Tanu gives him a handshake and says “hello friend”.
Why I am sharing all this? For awareness and acceptance. I know many people and kids want to help but don’t know how to.. I am glad there are so many people around me like that..
What can we do when we know a special child and want to help the kid and the parents?
1. Treat him/her as you will treat any other child.
2. Talk to the child even if he/she doesn’t respond. Remember the child is not responding not because he doesn’t want to but because he doesn’t know how to.
3. Go down to his/ her eye level if you can and talk softly.
4. Give a high five or ask the mom/dad what they would like to do at that moment.
5. Please don’t judge the parenting style. They would know what is best for the child. So no free advices please.
6. Make your child understand why this child is different yet same. Tell your child strengths that this special child has (and believe me every child has strengths).
7. Ask your child to spend half an hour or even 15mins with this special child. It will make a huge difference in their life.
8. And last but not the least, always always remember the child is different but not less..
एव्हडं काही कठीण नाही …
मनात आलं कि सहज फोन उचलून लावावा त्या मित्राला
बोलणे ज्याच्याशी राहिलेले अर्धवट दूध उतू जाईल म्हणून,
पुस्तक घ्यावं ते हातात एक पान वाचायला
वर्णाला उकळ येई पर्यंत..
लावावं YouTube वर ते गाणं “तुमचं”
झाडू लादी करताना,
आणि मधेच भरकटावं त्या अल्लड प्रेमाचा आठवणीत
मुलाचा homework घेताना
झालो मोठे आपण आणि
तशाच झाल्या जबाबदाऱ्या हि मोठ्या,
मनातल्या कोपऱ्यात तरीही असतो
तो अल्लडपणा बालपणातला !
आसमंत भरून येताच
मनालाही पूर येतो,
तो पोरकटपणा बाहेर येतो
मग घेऊन छत्री वा रेनकोट
मन खिडकीतून बाहेर पडतं
कोसळणाऱ्या त्या पावसात
ते थुई थुई नाचतं..
मानला वयचं भान येताच
ते पटकन खिडकीतून आत उडी मारतं.
मी त्या पावसाला खिडकीतूनच पाहते
आणि भिजायची इच्छा मात्र तीव्र होऊन जाते
माझं मन आता माझी समजूत काढतं
तुझं तुलाच जप जरा, ऐक माझं मनोसोक्त रहा
पावसाची हि पहिली सर, जरा भिजून तरी पहा
मानाचं मनावर घेऊन मी घराबाहेर पडते
आणि त्याचा प्रेमात मी मनसोक्त भिजते
एव्हडं काही कठीण नाही मानाचं ऐकणं
एव्हडं काही कठीण नाही आयुष्य जगणं !
Photo credits : https://www.flickr.com/photos/httpwwwyoumeflickrcom/8096554090
Autism, or autism spectrum disorder, refers to a range of conditions characterized by challenges with social skills, repetitive behaviors, speech and nonverbal communication, as well as by unique strengths and differences.
Now here, by providing the above information, I created a little bit of awareness regarding Autism. But with awareness, we also need to bring up acceptance!
Awareness is easy, Acceptance requires actual work!
Few tips to start with acceptance:
- Understand the difference between “being autistic” and “having autism”. The child with Autism is so much more than just “Autistic”. Understand him and accept him with all his challenges.
- Kids on spectrum are very much part of the society as any other neurotypical child. Integrate them! Teach your child to be friends with special child because a child on spectrum would find it very difficult to initiate and interact. When you teach your child this, you are also building your child to be a sensitive and caring individual.
- Kids on spectrum find it difficult to express. They express in their own ways which we don’t understand unless we look very closely. But this doesn’t mean that they don’t understand or have emotions / feelings. Don’t speak in front of the child as if he doesn’t exist.
- Ask the parents how can you help? Your smallest gesture can make a big difference in their life.
- Treat this child as a child! He/ she deserves their basic right to be a child.
I am a mom of a 6 year of boy who is diagnosed with Autism. Your child must be weak in English, science or may be math.. My child is a little weak in his communication. That’s the only difference. As a Special Mom I want to say please look at my child as a child first.
Your child may scream with excitement, mine would run around. The way of expression is different but my child too likes to express and I am proud of it.
–A Mom on WAAD.